About the things that change when you start to grow up (and about my very late new years resolutions).

Okay. 

There comes a time in our lives when we all start to grow up. Even I (or is it me?), the girl that could'nt even think about how it feels to be an adult. I could'nt imagine life in a box.

To be honest, I am not an adult, and I am not in a box, but I still feel myself growing up each and every day a little more than I did two years ago. Or three. Everything has changed. 

I feel myself growing up with food, friends, jokes people tell and jokes I tell and what I laugh about and what I think about people and what I want to think about people. 

I am a weird, little girl, but I feel myself growing up. 

Two years ago I could'nt have pictured myself close to raw meet or, what's much more worse, seafood. I still can not really think about eating a fish. But time comes and goes and with it I change as much as everybody else does. Even if we dont want to. 

When I was six or seven, I was very soure about knowing who I am. I told my parents things about myself and what they could expect from my future me. I told them: ' Mom, Dad, no matter how od I am, and no matter who will ask me for eating spinach, fish, mushrooms, tomatoes and mbananas or who asks me for drinking any alcohol or smoke, I will always be the kid that says no. And another thing, when I am grown up, i will split my tounge because it looks funny.'. Thats what I told my parents, and I was very serious with it, but they never took me serious. 

Now, I am eighteen, and I changed my opinion about most of those things.

 I started to like tomatoes a few months ago like I started to like bananas when I was fourteen. 

I really like beer and I also like wine like my mother and whiskey like my dad does. 

I also dont mind anymore about an single mushroom on my pizza. I tried it once and its okay. It's there. I dont like it, but if it's just a single one, I am too lazy to remove it from my pizza. 

No matter what I told my parents, in the end that is, what adulthood is all about. 

You start to try more things but at the same time you start to get really lazy.

I still can't figure out yet what kind of adult I am, and I bet there are a dozen more kinds of adults than just the lazy ones and the ones that try and try. I mean I am not even a real adult. 

I am just a weird, blonde eighteen year old girl, and I am lazy with my mushrooms but I also try new things. Two days ago I tried to eat lobster. 

Maybe not yet, but maybe, just maybe some day, I will eat tuna on my pizza, and maybe some months from now I will order extra cheese on my pizza.

I know my kind of view here is most of the time about food, but, its okay.

_________________________________________________________________________________

``Sometimes I think, the world would be such a nice place if I would have more contact with this person or eat less of that food. I just think it, but its not true and thats one of the things I want to get rid of til the end of the year. It still came to my mind right now so I felt like wiriting it down. I want to get rid of the idea that everything would be perfect if I would do more of that and less of this.

It still wouldn't. I am a perfectionist and everybody is, so there are a dozen more wishes I will wish for. And this my entire life. the world is a beautiful, imperfect place and it will never be perfect but at the same time that is what makes it perfect in its own special way, thats how we can always wish for more and try more and work harder for our dreams, or , how people say in twothousandandsixteen, 'goals'. We will (n)ever reach all of our goals but we wish for and that is what makes them reachable and at the same time unreachable.``

And now, lets all take a moment and think about how weird I am that i sit there with my cute eighteen years at a sunday night in may in east Canada and write about how it is to become an aduld and my new years resolutions.

thanks for reading this crap